The Very, Very Beginning- MySpace Flirting

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jefferson
Date: Mar 31, 2006 12:31 AM

Thanks for joining my myspace friends, (Avah). I hope you enjoy the blog.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Me Date: Mar 30, 2006 9:47 PM

Oh I love your blog! I'm addicted! lol You're such a great writer and everything you write about sounds like so much fun. I'm a bit envious of some of it actually. Guess that's why I'm so addicted- living vicariously I suppose, lol.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jefferson
Date: Mar 31, 2006 1:04 AM

Thanks for the kind words.

I'm glad my writing works for you. Enjoy living vicariously! And when you can resist no more . . .

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Me
Date: Mar 31, 2006 6:05 AM

Resistance is very difficult actually, you have a very strong pull...

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jefferson
Date: Mar 31, 2006 2:26 PM

I'm sure you enjoy the temptation, (Avah).

But surrendering is that much better.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Me
Date: Mar 31, 2006 11:53 AM

I agree 100%...it's all about the surrender

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jefferson
Date: Mar 31, 2006 5:29 PM

We seem to be very agreeable.

Tell me: what in particular in the blog to you find most exciting? I write about many things--what is that gets you the most?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Me
Date: Mar 31, 2006 5:49 PM

What gets me the most? This is hard, I like pretty much everything. But what I like the most? Your dominance...I like how you start off as this sweet, gentle, caring lover and 5 seconds later you're binding someone and spanking or whipping them with such focus and you always seem to know how far to go. That's what I like most.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jefferson
Date: Mar 31, 2006 9:18 PM

That's quite a detail to pick out.

I think that is the best part of being dominant with a lover. It isn't about mind games or cruelty, but about being attentive to ways to give pleasure--and to allow her to surrender and give over to it, knowing she is safe and cared for.

Do you have much experience along those lines?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Me
Date: Mar 31, 2006 6:42 PM

I have some. I've been playing/experimenting with someone on and off for about a year and a half. But it's never been quite what I wanted...not enough attraction for me, never enough bondage, and he sometimes push a bit too far.


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jefferson
Date: Mar 31, 2006 9:54 PM

It's nice to have the opportunity to experiment with that. I'm sory it's not all you seek. Does he listen when you offer your feedback?


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Me
Date: Mar 31, 2006 6:58 PM

He does, yes, but I see him so rarely we don't really get a chance to put my feedback to use.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jefferson
Date: Mar 31, 2006 10:09 PM

It's good that he listens, then, but man! You have to wait for it? Why?

What else do you do for sex?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Me
Date: Mar 31, 2006 8:30 PM

btw- if you'd ever care to chat in faster r/t, feel free to IM me on AIM - my sn is -------

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jefferson
Date: Mar 31, 2006 11:29 PM

Thanks for the invitation. This may be my incentive to add AIM to my new laptop.

Do you have Yahoo IM?

Oh My Head

mySQL.

Nucleus. Wordpress. Textpattern?

Databases.

Domains.

Subdomains!

Import! Export!!

Gah!!

Oh Blogger blog, why do you hold on to me so tightly? You've been good to me, but I'm ready to move on and move up. Release me from these bonds and let me go on my merry way!

Exporting my blog into my new one may just be the death of me.

I'm paying for hosting, and host I will!!!

Oh this is going to be addicting. I can tell. It already is. I have to go home and bake for Passover seder tomorrow. But I just want to keep playing and exploring!!

Eeek!

Any and all comments, tips, links, etc to help me with this process will be MORE than appreciated!!

(Specifically moving my Blogger blog to Nucleus)

Kisses!

Good News Kiddies

You guys got me for at least 12 more months.

I just purchased designingintimacy.com

Expect more changes over the next few months!

Woo!

Stories....

I've been thinking...

Yeah, I know. Been doing a lot of that lately.

I don't know if I want to write sex stories anymore. At least not for a little while. I've gotten a little bored with them. And they're really a lot of work. Especially after a year when everything gets to be repetitive.

I mean, really. How many times and different ways can I talk about fucking Jefferson? Especially since we don't do anything interesting anymore.

Yeah, I went there.

The orgies I could still write about. Every month it's something different, which is kinda cool. Though it's really just more sex with a couple different people. But still, stories = a lot of work.

If I stop writing about sex, can I still call it a sex blog though?

And I'm really not even having that much sex. Two, maybe 3 times a month if it's a good month (A time consisting of an entire date, whether it's 2 days or 2 hours long). Pitiful. I know.

Hey- I might actually hit 4 this month! If the universe doesn't continue to fucking hate me. Which, is entirely possible, and I'm not holding my breath that it's going to stop blowing chunks anytime soon.

Going Back to Bed

I just got up for a few moments. My roommate is a very loud door opener.

This is a bad, bad week.

I just wanna get naked with someone I like and cuddle for a bit. Is that really too much to ask? I mean, seriously. Is that too much for the universe to give me?

I'm not even asking for sex. I'm having so little sex these days it doesn't really matter much if I have it anymore. (With that one evening being an exception)

I'd just really love to see my boyfriend right now. You know, everyone else in the world gets to see him, so why can't I?

And now I'm gonna go cry again and crawl back into bed.

It's A Real Song!

I always loved the Outback Steakhouse jingle..."Let's go Outback tonight, life will still be there tomorrow...."

And I was saying in my painting class today how much I liked it and wished it was a real song, and a guy (who happens to be a waiter there) informed me it was, and proceeded to give me the artist and title!!

So here, Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games, by Of Montreal

HNT #22

It Just Kinda Sucks

I'm too tired to get much into right now, but I just ended things with Kyle.

He canceled on me for the 3rd week in a row, and as much as it sucked, it really wasn't my main reason for calling it quits now.

I could see myself falling in love with him, and I just didn't want to go there. Not with someone else I have no future with. I've learned my lesson with Jefferson.

The next man I fall in love with will be someone I can have a relationship with, a real see each other all the time, and only each other relationship. Maybe even someone I can marry.

I'm bummed. It's sad to say goodbye to someone I like. But it's better than saying goodbye to someone I love. Really, it is. I know.

So that's my story for tonight.

Let Me Rephrase That

I think I put a little too much emphasis in my last post on getting readers to comment. Would it be nice if people commented more? Yes. Have I gotten used to the fact people don't comment? Yeah, and I'm not so concerned with getting comments as much anymore. I'm not a big commenter myself, even on my absolute favorite blogs like Journey into Submission, Biker's Balls & Teacher's Tits, or Sugarbutch Chronicles. And I guess with my blogs that I read regularly (all the ones on my blog roll), I read them because I like the work, and it seems silly to comment on every post that I like it (if I have nothing else to add).

And honestly, I would always get in trouble in school when we'd have group seminars and I rarely contributed feedback. I couldn't always relate. (And I didn't always care. It sounds mean, but I really did just hate most of my classmates.)

I do find it easier to comment when a question is posed. One reason I opened up Question Month. I thought it would be a good opportunity to get the lurkers out of the woodwork.

My main frustration though is the progress of my blog (or lack there of as I see it). Commenting is one way I measure it. I would assume as my readership grows, reader participation would grow. But that's not necessarily an accurate correlation because big blogs like Fleshbot and Viviane's Sex Carnival don't receive many comments. Ok, so I don't worry sooo much about that.

But then I look at how my readership isn't growing. My stats have been pretty consistent over the last 10 months. I've been writing for coming on 12 months now. (Yes I know there are some Feed reader only people out there, but I'm not counting on 1,000 of you). I work on getting my blog on lists and directories. I was reviewed by Jane's Guide, and that drove a hell of a lot of traffic my way for a few days, but now it's just drips and drabs. Even when I got Fleshbotted by Chelsea Girl way back when, I didn't get a surge of traffic.

It's like there's some sort of forcefield that repels visitors. I swear.

And then of course that gets me paranoid that I'm a bad writer. Or that people hate when I post so much irrelevant stuff like comics and the Overheards and random stories and thoughts. Then I think people don't like me because of my rants and all that sort of stuff. Should I be more positive? Should I not be bitching about blogging or boy troubles or school troubles, etc? Should I revert this back to a strictly sex blog where I only posted my stories once or twice a week?

I thank everyone that commented on my Lab Rat post. Not to sound conceited, but I got the responses I fully expected. I do know there are at least some people out there like my blog. There are at least 60 of you that just keep coming back every day!

El Cuervo says I should write for me, but how can I make the writing for me when I get so many responses that people would be disappointed if I stopped writing? I write for me in my journal and other private blogs. And it's stressful to maintain all 3. Designing Intimacy gets the bulk of my attention, and because of that, all the things I can't write about here gets forgotten. I don't have time to write for me.

And I know it sucks when a blog you love and read every day just finishes or disappears. I've lost a bunch of my original reading to I don't even know what. Feenix Call Girl was one of my favorites and she just up and disappeared one day. Clandestine Call Girl is essentially moving on with her blog as well. There was another one I read, that I've forgotten the name of now, about a woman exploring a new relationship with a dominant woman that captivated me, and she too just disappeared.

I would never disappear on you guys though. When it is time to close up shop (and that day will come), I'll certainly give due notice.

But no, that time isn't now.

I'll keep writing. Even if I hate my words (which I sometimes do), even if I get no comments, even if I get no more new readers.

Because like the trained rat, I'm still waiting for my reward. And like the slot junkie, I'm waiting for the big payoff.

Question #18

Who's the most attractive celebrity you can think of, and what makes them so attractive to you? Male or female, or both if you wish. I'd like to see what your famous-people tastes are like.

Ok, I'll start with females, as that's actually easier for me, lol.

Scarlet Johanssen would likely be my absolute favorite celebrity in terms of attractiveness. She's so gorgeous (not just hot) and her skin is just so creamy I want to feel every inch of her. And she's thin, but not all hard muscle-bodied, so that makes me want to touch her and lay with her even more. Her thighs are just so mmm! and let's not forget those gorgeous, gorgeous breasts. Plus the plump lips! Yowzers!

Now I'm all worked up, lol.

I also really love Charlize Theron.
I think she's another classically beautiful woman with such an amazing figure. I remember this one picture of her in a magazine where she's wearing a backless dress and all I can think about is those beautiful curves (I actually really love a beautiful back on a woman or man).

I guess I have a thing for blondes, because Katherine Heigl is also pretty hot to me.

But you know what else? The three of them seem like they're probably really cool, nice people.

To veer off blondes though, Catherine Zeta Jones is smoking too. I love the curves on her body. I saw a picture of her in a bikini recently and she just looked all fit but still curvy and I thought how much I want to look like that.

I have to run to class, so I'll follow up with the dudes I like when I get back....

Oh My God. I'm A Fucking Trained Lab Rat.

So a few minutes ago, in my procrastination to finish my paper for class tomorrow, I was reading an article Viviane had posted concerning the blogger Kathy Sierra who had received alarming death threats. Now, this post isn't about that. Death threats, horrible, yes. Poor woman. There are a lot of fuckers out there. I've gotten my own malicious comments (though no death threats thank God), so I know.

But I went on to check out her blog, since I'd never heard of her before, when I happened upon a post of hers equating the addictiveness of Twitter to the addictiveness to Slot Machines, based on the intermittent variable reward system. Basic idea is you know you're going to get a reward for doing something, you just never know when.

So, for example, you check your e-mail every hour, hoping for something, but you don't always have anything new in your inbox. Except for the times you do. Reward.

Kathy writes:

One of Skinner's most important discoveries is that behavior reinforced intermittently (as opposed to consistently) is the most difficult to extinguish. In other words, intermittent rewards beat predictable rewards. It's the basis of most animal training, but applies to humans as well...

Me, I don't use Twitter. Never heard of it until 3 days ago, and not quite sure what the appeal is. I think it's better I don't find out, if Kathy Sierra is saying it's as addictive as slot machines.

Or, in my case, my blog.

And it hit me like a ton of bricks. In the face. In the nose. And we all know how much that smarts.

I'm on this reward system with my blog. I love my blog, but at the same time I hate it. I hate it so much these days. It's so much work, and so much energy, and so much of me, and there is so little reward for me. Except for when there is.

And I keep writing, hoping for comments, feedback, insight, questions, and answers. I'd say about 8 times out of 10 I get zip.

I mean, I just posted a picture of my face, all clear except for some Photoshop effects, and nada.

Admittedly, I'm somewhat surprised when someone leaves a comment on any of my sex stories. I'm floored (and excited as well) when I get multiple comments on a post.

I'm actually really grateful for my regular/semi-regular commenters: Glengarry, Mariel, Lizzie, El Cuervo, Alice.... etc. If it weren't for your guy's faithfulness, I might have given up writing months ago.

And as much as I enjoy writing, I don't write for me. I don't need to write down my sex life for my own benefit. I love sharing it though. I write to share.

But after a year now, I feel so suck, like I haven't progressed. And I want to improve! It's a horrible thought to think I've been writing for a year, and I haven't improved.

I've been considering whether or not I want to continue Designing Intimacy. My 1 year anniversary is coming up, and I have something nice I'm planning for it. But I don't know where else to go with it.

I've thought about giving up blogging all together (hard to fight that addiction though...if I stick it out another month, maybe then I'll get my big break....).

I've thought about abandoning this and starting over. Picking a new pen name. A new identity. Maybe it's me people don't like. But what a disappointment it would be, as a writer, to find people don't like me or my writing after creating a new persona.

But there is the fact I do love my blog. It's everything I want. It's exactly the way I want it. The colors, the layout, the content. And I don't know how to abandon my baby. I always wonder how people can just stop writing; how they can pour themselves out on the internet, then just walk away. Even when I'm busy or away, I still and try to post something. A funny quote, a picture, a short anecdote.

I don't even know what to expect from this post. I don't know if I should expect to see an outpouring from you readers claiming your love for me and my blog and encouraging me to continue or if I'll get dead silence.

So, I'll leave the rest to you....

The comment button's right below.

Sugasm #72

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Question #17

Is it still question month?

Yes it is!! All the way until the end of March!! (But, not that you can't ask me a question any time of the year, of course...)

And So the Romance Blossoms

Avah: we need to spend some time kissing too
Avah: that's what i've been thinking about
Kyle: my god, yes!
Kyle: lots and LOTS of kissing
Kyle: endless kissing
Avah: yay
Kyle: you're adorable...and sexy...and sweet
Kyle: of COURSE i want to kiss you and hold you close
Kyle: lots of cuddlng

Kyle: you are so much fun!
Kyle: i'm very lucky
Avah: you are too
Kyle: i feel very lucky
Avah: i'm just as lucky
Kyle: thank you, baby

Kyle is...amazing. He's so wonderful, and charming, and attentive. Who wouldn't want to spend time with this man?

But I'm so terrified of letting this develop. I don't want to be left wanting and broken hearted again. I'm so scared I'm left breathless thinking about it.

But how can I turn my back on this. This wonderfulness. This connecting. This electricity between us. Who doesn't love the feeling of a budding romance?

There's just something about him that seems right. It just clicks. We just fit.

2 dates. And flirting online.

And it's not that I fall for guys easily. I don't. I've dated other guys for weeks and months without feeling anything for them.

I've never felt a spark like this though, this soon, this intensely.

And wouldn't it be better to take the chance rather than wonder "what if?"

Here's to taking the plunge....

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

I've thought about calling you lately, but I haven't wanted to. And the plain and simple truth of why is because I don't trust you. I don't like telling you what's going on in my life because I don't trust you won't judge me, criticize me, use what I say against me, or talk about me behind my back. I've been so much more relaxed these past 7 months because I haven't been filled with the anxiety that comes when I talk to you or visit with you. I don't feel the need to constantly be on the defense.

And it's not just you. It's D and J too. All my life I've never felt good enough, thin enough, smart enough for any of you. I've never felt supported or accepted. And that's why I got so mad about your decision about France. Money issues aside, it really upset me you couldn't at least support my decision to do something really cool and exciting. An opportunity that only comes once in a life time. Let me also mention I've been wanting to study abroad since I was little, so it really shouldn't have been a shock.

I know a lot of parents raise kids with expectations of what they want them to be, but it's not my obligation to fill those expectations.

You can't raise me the same as D and J. It's a different time, and I'm a different person. College is going to make me more than 4 years. I'm not slacking off because I take only 12 credits. I know I can't handle 15. And I'm finally serious about being an art major. Emerson and I don't get along so well, but me and Cezanne, we're pals.

I know you're my dad, but I don't know how to have a relationship with you. I can't if I don't trust you, and I don't know that I ever will. History just shows I can't count on you to support me. So, I don't know where to go from here.

But if you want to write me back, here's my address at school....

-Avah

2 Weeks!!!

MY BIRTHDAY'S IN 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me

That's Just Awesome

Stupid Dyslexia

Guy: You know what? Fuck you! F-C-U... Goddammit.
Girl: That's right, dumbass!

--Lincoln Center

Overheard by: laughing my ass off

via Overheard in New York, Mar 24, 2007

Get It!! Watch It!!

Shortbus is on DVD now!

Admittedly, I missed the boat when it came to Shortbus. Hey, I'm in Jersey! It didn't make it out to here. So maybe it didn't make it to you either. If so, get the DVD!

(And if you feel like throwing a copy my way, go ahead! My birthday is coming up and all... 16 days!!!!)

I Can't Believe I Even Have This Story To Tell

This is a really funny story. I swear. It's OK for you to laugh at me. I'm laughing.

As I'm crying.

It's really quite embarrassing too.

I'm really, still in shock.

So, I was going to go to sleep before, right? But after looking at some dirty pictures, I was feeling a bit randy and decided to quick take care of that before I went to sleep.

I pulled out my Hitachi and set to work, but I was having trouble getting over the edge. I needed something in me.

So I grabbed the nearest dildo (and I have a small stockpile too, lol). My big, red monster. One I've never gotten around to using; since it's so big.

I contemplated covering it. I always cover my toys. Er, I always cover my butt plugs and dildos. And here's my PSA. Always cover your toys! It makes clean up a cinch, it's safe for when you're sharing!, and when you got funny materials like jelly and cyber skin, it makes you worry less about leeching chemicals.

Speaking of leeching chemicals...back to my story.

I contemplated covering, but since it was me, and it was my toy, and I only needed it for a few seconds, and I was tired, I skipped the condom. ("I shoulda used a condom!" her famous last words.) I pushed it in, and winced as it stretched me. I kept wincing as it kept burning, but ignored it as it quickly did the job.

Satisfied, I pulled it out and went to go wash it up. I was three steps to the door as I realized my pussy was still burning. I looked in the mirror and saw my lips were bright red and swollen twice the size!! And the pain was only increasing!!

I was seriously having a fucking allergic reaction to the dildo.

I freaked, and jumped in the shower, to wash off any remaining residue. I was whimpering like an injured puppy dog!

Let me tell you- this is no pain anyone should ever have to experience!

The water felt good on it, and now it's subsided to a dull ache. Manageable, but still there.

And I feel so deformed, being all swollen.

So what did we learn from Avah today?


Always cover your toys!!!

Poetry

Naked, you are simple as one of your hands,

smooth, transparent, round.

You have moon-lines, apple pathways.

Naked, you are slender as a naked grain of wheat.

Pablo Neruda
from "100 Love Sonnets"


Kyle just sent me this in an e-mail right now. It's beautiful, no?

Favorite Mika Song

It's not really a video, so just listen to the song.

Work Out Tunes

Ok lemme ask you all- what are some of your favorite work out tunes?

I'm trying to compile a play list on my iPod, and want to see what other people like!

Leave me a comment, and let me know!

This is Me Skipping Class

I'm just so not in the mood to leave the dorm today. I'll have to later for my evening class though, since I missed it Tuesday.

My depression seems to have reared it's ugly head again. Just as I was feeling good too...

Of course.

So my roommate thinks I'm a slut. She didn't come out and say it, but I'm pretty sure that's what she thinks since I slept with Kyle so quickly.

And Kyle ended up having to cancel yesterday, and I didn't take it so well, and Noelle wasn't being the most supportive friend, and in my frustration I said that she couldn't understand since she has her boyfriend.

So she wrote a retaliation in her Xanga.

Basically it's my own fault I'm constantly disappointed and hurt by men.

Maybe it is. I don't want to leave the man I love, even though he repeatedly disappoints me and lets me down.

And here I am now, with Kyle, and I feel like my feet are stuck in tar and I can't get out of this miserable situation.

I didn't meet Kyle to get into another "relationship" or dead end love affair. I wanted to meet someone to distract me from Jefferson. But here it is, we've gone on two dates, and he's cancelled two dates. And all I'm thinking is how I already get my fair share (more than fair share, really) of disappointment from Jefferson, a man I'm admittedly head over heels in love with, and now I'm being disappointed my a man I'm head over heels in like with.

I really like Kyle. And he really likes me. And he feels so, so terrible about cancelling last night.

And, honestly, part of me is terrified of moving forward with him because I can easily see myself falling in love with him, and I really, really don't want to. And I don't know how not to fall in love.

But needless to say, I'm a bit irked with Noelle.

First of all, I'm a little tired of constantly being around her and her boyfriend. I mean really, sometimes I just wanna hurl. They are that couple everyone hates. Plus her boyfriend is so freaking awkward around me and it makes me feel awkward.

Second of all, I'm also tired of being constantly ditched and forgotten.

You'd be surprised how little you see someone even when you share a room with them.

But if she's gonna be all judgemental and unsupportive, then I don't really wanna hang out right now.

And maybe Noelle, if you don't approve of my lifestyle, you shouldn't read my blog anymore.

Mother-fucking depression. I hate how obsessive I get when I'm in it. Obsessive about all the negative shit.

And I have this presentation/paper I have to do for class Tuesday and I've barely started. Well, I haven't started really. I need to do all the research. But so far my inital searches haven't proven very successful. I'll get it done though. I always do.

God, I hate public speaking. Especially on topics I'm not too sure about. I don't know anything about Arte Povera or Michelangelo Pistoletto. Fuck me.

No HNT for Today

Sorry folks. I don't have an HNT for you today. I haven't taken any pictures lately, and to be honest I'm feeling kinda yuck about my body these days and don't really want to take pictures.

Mean comments from anonymous people don't help either.

Actually, this is what I'll do. I'll post a pic from back in the day.

So here, my HNT.

Question #16

Will you marry me?

Sorry, love. I'm saving that spot for Justin Timberlake. Mmmm! And especially now that he's single again, my chances just sky rocketed!

Hehehe

Kyle says I "inspire greatness."

:-D

He's taking me out for a fancy dinner tomorrow. I'm all excited. And then we'll be enjoying each other for dessert after. Yay. :)

I like Kyle. He makes me smile.

TMI Tuesday

1. When you are out in public, do you often get hard/get wet?

I'm naturally very wet as it is. But do I get turned on? Not generally.

2. When you masturbate, how long, typically, is your session and what do you think about (other than having an orgasm)?

I like to be as quick as possible. 5 mins (10 tops. I'll give up if it takes too long.) And my mind wanders. Generally to things like what I have to do that day.

3. What is your most pleasurable intercourse position?

I love doggy, but I cum best in missionary.

4. How often do you use the word "fuck" (or its derivatives) in casual conversation - frequently, occasionally, rarely, never.

I use it occasionally. I generally only swear when I'm angry, injured, or my team is losing or playing poorly.

5. Have you ever had a spontaneous orgasm? How when why where?

I have not. But that could be interesting.

Bonus (as in optional): Post a link to a picture you consider a strong sexual turn-on.

I actually think this picture is pretty hot. It's from Take the Lead with Antonio Banderas. I was actually getting turned on watching him tango. "It's like sex, but on hardwood."






TMI Tuesday

Sugasm #71

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Love Note

I love my love notes!

Hiya Avah

long time reader of your blog, i just dont comment as much, so apologies for that.

Had to mention, love the HNT's, Im a big fan :) keep em coming and keep us wanting you sexy lady!

hugs and kisses, even licks and bites ;)

Naughty

Question #13, 14, &15

A.) If you were to die tomorrow, what would you hope to be remembered for?

B.) What is the most important thing in the world to you? This can be an object, a person, a place, a feeling, or a concept. What is it that you value above all else? Does the answer to this ever change?

C.) Do you like to write letters? I mean actual pen-and-paper letters.

I think if I were to die tomorrow (which I hope won't happen!) I would want to be remembered for how much I loved my family and friends.

The most important thing in the world to me would be my Mom. I love my mom more than anythig, and really she's like my best friend. I didn't write about this, but there was a little bit of a cancer scare with her earlier this month. The doctor had found a lump in her breast and did a biopsy and it came back negative, but they still wanted to do a lumpectomy. When they went to took out the lump, the doctor found a lot of blood vessels leading toward the mass, which is a sign of either cancer or something with a really long name that's harmless. So, for like 4 days while we waited for the test results to come back, we were on the edge about the 50% possibility of her having concert.

As I said to Jefferson when I told him, "If she has breast cancer, I'll just die."

I guess I didn't write about it because as worried as I was about her getting positive test results, I knew she already had one negative result and that also there isn't any breast cancer in our family at all.

I think what I value above all else is love and committment. Don't hate, love. And if you say you're gonna do something, do it!

Those values have been pretty important for awhile, but it's possible for them to change in the future, I'm sure.

And no, I'm not really a big fan of paper and ink letters. I've been meaning to write my dad a letter, since I've only spoken to him once since September, and just don't have it in me to call.

But getting stamps and finding a mail box are just too much work for me, lol.

Catch Me Off Guard

I woke up first the morning after the concert. Jefferson and I hadn't gotten in until after 3, but at 10 the next morning, I woke up sweating. Jefferson's place is already a sauna, but he just creates an unbelievable amount of body heat when he sleeps, and I just don't sleep well when I'm too hot. I got up and popped open both windows but couldn't settle back into sleep.

I grabbed my book and read until I was drowsy again. Putting it down, I cuddled into Jefferson, stirring him in the process.

"Good morning," Jefferson smiled, kissing me.
"Morning" I replied, kissing him back.

My hand instinctively went to the back of his head, drawing him closer to me. His body curved into mine and I wrapped my leg around his waist. I felt my pussy dampen in anticipation while Jefferson's cock grew hard against me. My hands ran through his hair, craving the closeness of his flesh against mine.

His arms wrapped tightly around me; I melted.

I rolled onto my back, pulling him with me.

"Oh we're going this way now?"
"Mmmhmm," I giggled, kissing him.

He settled between my legs and my ankles locked around his waist as my hands ran over the soft contours of his body.

Our eyes, heavy and hazy with lust, met while we kissed.

My palm caressed Jefferson's cheek as I smiled in his kiss.

He pulled back, gazing at me, gently thumbing my cheek.

"You look so happy."
"You have that effect on me," I replied, blushing.

He kissed my cheek in response and kept kissing until he took a nipple in his mouth. I moaned and sighed, grinding my pussy against his cock as the heat between my legs increased.

Jefferson grabbed for a condom and rolled it on, pushing gently into me.

My eyes closed and I moaned; my natural response upon first entry. That’s really my favorite moment. I love the feeling of a hard cock penetrating my tight pussy and suddenly feeling so filled. It’s just pure ecstasy.

“I love the face you make when I first enter you,” Jefferson mentioned.
“It’s the best baby,” I murmured, wrapping my arms around his back.

We made love in the best ways we know how. He held me tightly as our hips rocked in a steady rhythm. Our lips sought each other out; our eyes persistently peering into the one another's.

Sweat formed as we shared heat between us. More sweat formed as my body shuddered, coming again and again.

The passion between us rose as Jefferson threw my legs over his shoulders and fucked me hard. My fingernails dug into his skin as he made me cum. My entire body shook and trembled as I cried out. He leaned down to kiss me while the last of my moans escaped my throat.

We made love. We cuddled. We fucked. We napped. We took a lunch break. We returned straight to bed. We fucked some more.

Exhausted, our bodies lay strewn together, depleted of sweat and cum.

My head rested in the crook of Jefferson's arm as we gazed at one another. His fingers caressed my face so gently as he looked at me with such tenderness. I smiled and blushed. I knew what he was thinking, looking at me like that.

"I love you," he said aloud.
"I love you, too" I automatically replied, having been caught off guard.

He never says that!

I grinned and kissed his cheek.

"I love you too."

Just A Feel Good Song

Image DNA

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Question #12

Do you ever think you are maybe a little too impulsive? This goes for everything from Jefferson, (falling so deep, so fast.) to your tattoo's. Do you ever think maybe one day you won't want all that drawing on your body?

No, I don't think I'm a little too impulsive. And anyone who's seen how long it takes for me to order at dinner would agree with that.

I love my tattoos and am very glad to have them and I wouldn't erase them even if I had the chance. And the fact that I want more just goes to prove I'm not regretful.

And there was nothing impulsive about Jefferson either. I can't control how quickly I fall in love. When you love someone, you love someone. And I wouldn't want to control it. Because I feel myself starting to fall for Kyle now, and even though it scares the begeezus out of me, it feels so good too.

Sometimes it seems I come off as impulsive yes, because I'll stew over a decision in my head for months without mentioning it to anyone, so when I change my mind or do something different, it's out of the blue for other people, but in reality, I've already been thinking about it and dissecting it forever.

Let's not forget as well you only get a section of my life, and don't see the process that goes into every decision I make. You also don't know every decision I make.

Soo, yeah...

Next question.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Question #8,9, 10& 11

My lovable and adorable roommate, Noelle asks:

If someone offered you a lifetime supply of any diamond item[s] that you want if you wouldn't have sexual intercourse anymore, would you take it?

and

Would you rather have sex with one man for the rest of your life that you truly loved, or many men that you didn't care about at all?

Well two easy questions, though Noelle was trying to stump me.

As much as I love diamonds (and OMG I love diamonds!) I would never trade a lifetime supply of sex for a lifetime of diamonds.

And I would much, much rather have sex with one man that I truly loved. Now and for the rest of my life.

Also, she wants to know: What would you do if I flopped my boobs on your forehead?

Well, first I'd punch you in the face, then give you a purple-nurple. Maybe 2 if you shine that God damned laser pointer in my face!!

And her most thought provoking question for the night: What emotional fulfillment does being so sexual give you?

Um, I don't really know that it does. I've been extremely sexual all my life so I assume that by engaging in my natural instincts, I'm living an emotionally satisfying life because I'm not repressing anything. I'm a very sexual person, and I like lots of different things, things that maybe aren't so mainstream or common, and embracing it and accepting it allows me to grow as a person over all.

Ok, I really have no idea, but that sounds about right.

Question #7

I'm interested in your bisexual yearnings/searchings...

What's the appeal to women, what gets you hottest, what type of woman, what do you most want to do with a woman... casual or serious?

What about men? How are they different and what do you want from them that you don't get from women, or vice-versa...

Do you find yourself attracted to similar or different types of men and women? Why?

Let's see- lots of points to cover:

In what attracts me to women, I'm about as much of a boob girl as I am a butt girl. I love a nice pair of sexy underwear on a nice round ass, where the undercurve is accentuated. You know that part where the leg meets the ass? Love that.

Also love the undercurve of the breast.

I love the softness of a woman's body- the smooth skin, the gentle curves of the body. And their plump lips. I love kissing a girl's plump lips.

Mmm...

Ask a hungry man to talk about food and....lol.

I love women with bubbly, inviting personalities. As I can sometimes be a little gun shy, someone who will at least show enough interest so I know to make a move (or better yet, make the first move!) is ideal for me.

As for what I would do with a woman- anything and everything upto a life long commitment (marriage). I just can't give up the husband and wife idea I've fantasized about all my life. But I'm still very adolescent when it comes to women. I've never "dated" any, and I'm only just now starting to develop crushes (beyond just pure sexual attraction).

But it is different with men since I look for the qualities I would like to find in a husband.

I love my men strong (body and mind), protective, engaging, intelligent (more than me at least), caring, creative, etc. You know, the perfect man. But these qualities do exist together. I've seen it. Twice so far.

I really haven't gotten to the point where I look for relationship qualities in women.

But as far as physicality of men....mmmm...I love the way they smell. That muskiness. And their broad shoulder that allow them to just envelop you in an embrace. I love their warm smiles and big, strong hands.

The men I tend to fall for? Unavailable. Simple as that. There's always something about them that makes them unavailable. Emotionally or commitment wise.

Lucky, lucky me.

Question #6

When you entered into escorting for that brief period. What led you to it? What was going through your mind at the time? Why'd you stop?

When I began escorting, I had just left my retail job at school (earning about $180-220 a week) and had begun applying to more retail jobs closer to my house for the summer. I wasn't hearing back from any of the places and I was running out of money.

I was still seeing Rick at that time and had discussed the possibility of my escorting with him and he thought it was a good idea. I put together the fact that I was good at sex, so why not get paid for it?

I didn't hate it at the time. I first started with the crappy agency that worked out of the Meadowlands and I got shit money and was annoyed with their lack of professionalism. I quickly switched to a new agency where I worked out of the Edison area, a lot closer to my shore house. I brought along with me one of the other girls and we always got rooms next to each other and hung out when we weren't seeing anyone. It was kind of fun. I had a routine and I got to make lots of money.

I originally quit because I ended up telling my parents and my mom freaked and begged (and bribed me to quit).

I tried going back that fall once I was back at school, but I was just starting to see Doofus and it felt like cheating, so I couldn't do it.

I tried again this summer, signing up with another agency that I knew was very reputable and safe, but only worked one weekend with them because I wasn't comfortable only getting $125 an hour (even if they did cover the cost of the hotel). Though, in all fairness, I did have some nice guys that weekend.

I sometimes wonder if I'd go back. Noelle gave me a funny face just now when I mentioned it though. I miss the money. Oh God do I miss the money.

I don't miss sitting in a hotel room all day though waiting for clients. And I don't miss having to be with gross men I'm not attracted to.

If I were to do it again, I would want to do it independently though most likely. Mostly so I could keep the full cut and not have to sit in a hotel room all day. But then again, I still wonder about what I'd do for an in-call location. So I'm still on the fence on whether or not I'd go back.

I guess it depends on how much my 5K of debt gets to me...

Question #5

What is your favorite tattoo or piercing that you currently have? What addition to your "collection" do you want most? What will be next (even if it's not the one you want the most!)?

Ooh- great question! Well so far I have my 2 piercings (nose and hood) and my 2 tattoos and I love all of them. But I'd say my cherry blossom tattoo is my favorite because of how sexy it makes me feel and how many compliments I get.

I think I'm done with piercings though. I like the look of little barbells through nipples, but I just don't think I'm going to ever be able to go through with it. I just get so psyched out by piercings, and that really psyches me out.

As of right now there are 3 tattoos that I'm contemplating.

I'm thinking about a shooting star design on my left inner forearm, similar to this design --->,





with coloring similar to this --->

I like the blue haze, but I would probably get it in yellow with different colored stars (them not all being the same color)

My only hesitation is my wondering if I'm going to want stars on me when I'm 50.

On my right inner forearm I'm contemplating something more abstract. I've also considered that fairy I saw at the place where I got my 2 tattoos done.

But if not the fairy, then something along the lines of this:

But obviously made to fit my arm. I've also thought about if I want it to curve around my wrist onto the back of my hand too.

I can only get the ones on my arms though if I can find someone who knows how to tattoo over scars.

The 3rd place I want a tattoo is along the side of my right breast, like this picture, but not that tattoo.

God I really want to suck that nipple though.

Sorry. Anyways.

I don't want it to go up my shoulder though, and I'd want it to extend a bit down my ribs (ouch, I know), and that's easier to do with my itty bitty bussoms.

I'd probably get that abstract one that's on the foot if I don't get it on my arm. Otherwise I'm not so sure.

Ooh! I just thought of a 4th one. I want a tiny little heart on my left hand by the crook of my thumb and forefinger.

That might be the one I get next because I can't really afford anything nicer for awhile. Plus I want to ease myself into ultra visible tattoos. And ease my parents into it too, lol.

But those are my ideas for right now, we'll see if I come up with any more.

Ask Away

Well, I'm gonna take a page from some friends' blogs and open up March Question month.

It's been a little staginant lately, so I'd like to get a little more reader participation.

Please, please, please ask something! Don't make me beg. Or cry.

Plus this is my 400th post!

So go ahead- ask me anything!

Stats, Stats, Stats (Yes, I'm a Stat Whore)

Here is my monthly summary of stats on the past 11 or so months... (Click on it to make it larger)



Here's a summary of a few weeks in May and June last year:


And here is a snap shot from the past 4 weeks:



Notice the realative lack of change between my visits between May and now. I had 5,700 visits in May and then 6,100 visits in Febrary (a shorter month mind you). January spiked when I got reviewed on Jane's Guide, but it doesn't seem like it's sticking.

Now my returning visits has increased over the months, which makes me happy.

I guess what my point is, I'll ask the more veteran and sucessful bloggers out there (sex bloggers more specifically) how did you get your stats to improve? I'm somewhat happy with my numbers, but I'd just like to see them improve at this point. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

HNT #20- Rock on!

Why Aren't You Naked?

My pussy ached and throbbed as I chatted with Kyle online, laying out our fantasies for when we would get naked later that week.

I could feel it dripping, and I whined at my horniness. 2 fucking weeks without sex. Psh. Huh.

"What's wrong with you?" Noelle asked me as she played Scrabble on the computer with her boyfriend.
"Nothing," I moaned.

"and you'll pin me down as you fuck me, right?" I typed onto the computer.
"yes! of course! mmm" he responded.
"what else do you want me to do wednesday?"
"mmmm that's a good question. what do you want?"

Blushing a deep shade of crimson, I responded.

"um, i like being called names"
"mmm perfect. i'm extremely verbal"
"and i like being made to beg"
"i'll definitely make you beg. beg to suck my cock, for me to fuck you, to cum"
"and, um, i like breath play too"
"mmm"
"and being slapped"
"good girl. we really are kindred spirits"

God damn I really needed to be having sex at that very moment, not talking about it.

"i have to run some errands, will you be on later?" he asked me.
"i'm leaving for the city in an hour"
"oh right, your concert with jefferson. have fun and tell me how it goes"
"will do!"
"XOXO"

God damn!

I packed my bag for the night and headed to the bus stop, texting Jefferson along the way.

"I'm on my way and so horny I could cry. Be naked and ready to fuck as soon as I get there!"

"PS I'm starving. Got any food?"

I pushed my way through the crowds and made my way up to Jefferson's, dropping my coat and bag on the floor as soon as he let me in.

"Why aren't you naked? I was serious!"
"Ok, ok, I"m coming! Man, you've got it bad."
"Hurry up! We don't have much time either," I said smiling as I pulled off my shoes and socks.

I pulled Jefferson into the bedroom and stripped him naked before throwing my own clothes on the floor. Climbing on the bed, we wrapped our arms and legs around each other and kissed deeply. We bucked our hips against each other's thighs and I felt Jefferson growing hard against me.

I was dripping already.

I pulled him on top of me, my signal I was ready. He grinned at me as he grabbed a condom from the drawer and seemed to take an eternity rolling it on.

I mean, seriously, had I not fully conveyed how fucking horny I was?!

Finally he was in me. He held me close and we kissed as his hips rocked. I pushed mine up against his, faster, trying to get him to quicken the pace. He got the hint and pushed up on his arms a bit, fucking me a little harder.

I moaned louder as Jefferson's cock kept hitting my g-spot and I felt my body get closer and closer to release. I bucked my hips up, rubbing my clit against Jefferson, and soon I was groaning and grabbing at Jefferson as I came hard.

He slowed down for a few strokes as I caught my breath, but quickly resumed fucking me.

He sat up on his knees and pulled my legs over his shoulders, pinning my wrists down to the bed. I moaned and grunted as Jefferson fucked me hard and deep. His hands moved to my shoulders and he fucked me even harder.

My hips matched his pace as I felt myself getting close to orgasm again.

I felt my cheeks tingle and knew I'd put this up there with some of the better fucks I've had.

My toes curled as I felt myself approach the edge. I grabbed Jefferson's waist, keeping him close to me as I pulled myself over.

I came hard. My nails dug into his skin, my back twisted and arched, and I screamed as my pussy clenched down, almost forcing Jefferson's cock out. He held my hips firmly, holding himself in me as my orgasm wiped through me.

He kept fucking me though. I whined and twisted as the sensitivity got to me. My pussy still twitched from my last orgasm and and here I was on my way to another.

I screamed even louder as I got hit again with another powerful orgasm.

"Fuuh-ck!" I moaned, pounding on Jefferson's chest.

My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath, the throbbing in my pussy subsiding.

Jefferson pulled out of me and rolled to my side.

"Well?" he asked me.
"Yeah, that took the edge off."

Template Change

Alright, some of you may have noticed I've been changing my template around a bit.

I may be on the final version. Or near final. I might just change some colors around. But I like this basic layout.

I know there's that z there and I'm not exactly sure why it's there or how to get rid of it.

I also think my banner isn't showing up on IE, and I dunno what that's about. It's at least not showing up on my IE. Of course, I always say the best way to fix that is just switch to Firefox.

I mean, really, just do it already! It's a trillion times better!

But anyways, there's my note.

Ummm....Hmmmm....

I checked my stats this afternoon and was shocked to see I'd only had 8 visits so far today.

Aww crap- in my template changing last night, I must have forgotten to put my statcounter code back in.

That must've been it.

So I went and added it back in.

And now I'm up to 20 visits. Um.... Have I been blacklisted or something? Or are people just that busy? I mean, this is really unprecedented. Maybe Statcounter's on the fritz? Hmm...

Just strange.

Don't mind me.

Haha So bored

Things I Need to Write About

• January's orgy
• Jefferson's birthday sex
• This past weekend (just the sex though, since Jefferson's write up was so perfect, I couldn't even imagine trying to come up with something else)
• My date with Kyle this week, where we did it. Oh yeah, we did it.

Sorry to be such a tease...well, no not really.

Semantics

Me: i wish i knew where my clicker was

Mitzi: Maybe if you stop calling it a clicker, and start calling it a remote control, it will show up.

Thing That I Know, That I Want You To Know

Things You (mostly women) Should Know About Your Jewelry

• Pearls should be restrung yearly (especially with frequent wear)
• When you wear your pearls, oils get on the stringing and make it dirty and the pearls reflect poorly off of that
• Pearls are extremely fragile! Protect them in a soft cloth pouch when you store them
• Same with opals
• Your emeralds need to be oiled every year. It helps protect the stone, fill in natural scratches and keep it's shine
• Never put colored gems in an ultrasonic cleaning machine- and only let them be steamed VERY carefully! (But risk is involved)
• Sapphires come in every color
• Diamond's can't be scratched by anything except other diamonds, but they can chip and break! They're not indestructible.
• Silver tarnishes. All of it. Even sterling. Just polish it!
  

HNT #19

Question #4

You are going through this advanced sexual self discovery (ie. dom/sub/pain/bisexual/swinging) at a much younger age than is normal. What kind of adult do you want to be when you come out the other side?


Um... Hm...you kind stumped me on this one. I don't really. I don't really have a plan for where this is going, really. I always thought I'd give a lot of stuff up once I got married and had kids, but I dunno anymore. I can't imagine not indulging in a lot of things I do, and I imagine I'll marry someone who feels the same way abous sex as me. I guess, really, I do still want to be kinky. I mean, I am kinky, and I don't want to deny it or ignore it once I'm older.

Question #3

You're stuck on a deserted island. You get one CD, one movie, and one friend to hang out with. Who, what, and why?

Ooh, that's a toughie. My first instinct was to bring Noelle along, but then I realized maybe I should bring a boy so I could have sex. So then I guess I'd choose Kyle.

My CD? Can it be a mix? Cause I would probably make a mix given the chance. If not, um...maybe something Oldies I think. Like the Beatles. (Or a mix of the 60s, lol).

My DVD? Oh gosh. I like funny movies, so my inclination would be to bring a funny one. Which funny one? I'm gonna go with Dogma. (Or almost any Disney movie).

Question #2

It's 7:42am on a brisk friday morning and you go into a coffee shop and buy what?

Um, yeah, chances are I'm not up at 7:42 in the morning (and certainly not out of the house...) but on the off chance I am awake, I would broubably buy a doughnut and milk, maybe a bagel if I'm really hungry.

But I don't do coffee. Ever. And I have to really be in the mood for a hot beverage (tea or cocoa).

Though, a blueberry muffin would be nice every once in a while.

Sinclair's Fill In the Blank

my favorite way to come is: my legs up over his shoulders, with his hands pressed hard against mine, as he pounds me as hard as possible

the way I come the hardest is: with as many fingers as possible stuffed in my pussy, milking my g-spot

what I think about to tip myself over the edge: his hands wrapped around my throat

what scenario I imagine when I'm alone: being tied up and humiliated, forced to cum again and again

what I crave: pain: face slapping, biting, hair pulling, wips, crops, canes; orgasms, many, many orgasms.

Sugarbutch Chronicles

Question #1

Where are you in the picture below?

Ok, I'll bite. Since I'm not terribly identifiable still, here you go.

That's Really Just So F'in Cute!

That's More of a Next-Incarnation Career Move

Teacher: When you grow up you can be anything you want!
Second grader: I can be an elephant?!

--P.S. 121

via Overheard in New York, Mar 5, 2007

Where's Avah?

I can be found somewhere in this picture, taken at Audacia's Bi Apple release party this past Saturday. It's like a "Where's Waldo" kind of thing. It's really hard to find me. Even I had to strain to pick myself out (a hint I'm not in the front).

Just thought I'd tease you all a bit.

I'm sick :-(

Ugh I have another cold. I just had two colds this fall!! I'm not suppsed to get sick like this.

I think I got it from Kyle, because he got sick the day after our date.

Man all I know is I'd better feel in top shape for when I see him Wednesday! Or I'll just fake it if I have to. lol. But dripping noses just is not sexy.

And PS to Jefferson- sorry if I get you sick. But hey, now I know for sure. Lol. ;-)

Companion

If balloons could talk...well this one sure had a great night out on the town! A Scissor Sisters concert, porn release party and a midnight snack in the Village! Whoo wee!

Yay Concert!!!

Yay Scissor Sisters!!!!

WOOHOOO!!!!!!!

More Blushing

Kyle: you're so sweet 'n sexy
Kyle: i'm counting the days until our fun
Kyle: coffee and art chat in town, then to bed!
Kyle: lol
Me: mmhmmm
Kyle: mmm
Kyle: i have been thinking about the first touch...the first taste...
Kyle: your first moan of pleasure
Me: yeah?
Kyle: yes!
Kyle: the first thrust of my cock inside you
Kyle: the first cry of your orgasm
Kyle: as it rocks through your lovely body
Me: oy
Kyle: vay!
Kyle: lol
Me: what else have you been thinking of?
Kyle: you on your knees, enjoying my cock
Kyle: :-)
Kyle: me standing behind you, inside your pussy, your ass...spanking you...paddling you...
Me: mmm
Kyle: you like that?
Me: yes
Kyle: me too, baby
Kyle: just you on a bed, your ass in the air, your upper body laying flat on the mattress, your face resting on a pillow...your ass cheeks spread wide, and my thick cock sliding deep inside you
Me: you've given this a bit of thought, haven't you?
Kyle: can you tell? LOL
Me: lol
Me: a little
Kyle: lol
Kyle: well...i was just on the couch, letting my mind wander
Kyle: and it did...it wandered all over you!
Me: *blush*
Kyle: ;-)
Kyle: you were blushing, flushed and sweaty from cumming so much
Kyle: from being fucked so long and hard
Kyle: your hair was wild, your eyes burning
Me: oh my god, my hair gets to be a wild ass mess after sex, lol
Kyle: mmmm...i'm so glad...i LOVE your hair, and was hoping that it would get wild after sex...i was thinking that during our cafe chat
Kyle: during the pauses in our conversation!
Me: :-O
Kyle: lol
Me: lol
Me: what else were you thinking when we were together?
Kyle: of kissing you
Kyle: of tasting you
Kyle: etc etc etc
Kyle: now I'M blushing
Me: hehehe
Me: so were you listening at all to what i was saying?
Kyle: lol
Me: ;-)
Kyle: yes! i thought those things during the pauses in our chat...
Kyle: and while i was peeing
Kyle: LOL
Me: lol
Me: so is that what you were thinking when you'd look at me with that goofy grin?
Kyle: no comment (i'm grinning in a very goofy manner NOW, by the way)
Me: so you were!
Me: lol
Kyle: at times, yes
Kyle: at others, i was just smiling
Kyle: you inspire smiles, avah
Me: awww
Kyle: you do
Kyle: it's true
Kyle: woo hoo
Kyle: (poet!)
Kyle: lol
Me: haha
Me: you know, i haven't stopped smiling since wednesday....
Kyle: really? that's lovely! i've been cheerful, too
Kyle: smiling and giddy
Kyle: i raved to friends about our date
Me: :-)
Me: me too
Kyle: it was one of the loveliest evenings i've had in a while
Kyle: so comfy and cozy, so fun
Me: my roommate said i was glowing when i came home
Kyle: you were glowing all evening...you were radiant!
Kyle: and in the soft light of the restaurant, you dazzled me
Me: oh you're just too much
Me: lol
Kyle: lol
Kyle: i speak the truth
Kyle: your sweet kisses, your sweet perfume (wear it always, it's beautiful)...your voice, your laughter...it's all wonderful
Me: *Blush*
Kyle: as wednesday approaches, i'll be bouncing off the walls at work
Kyle: humming a snappy tune
Kyle: laughing at nothing, for no reason
Me: i wish tomorrow was wednesday
Kyle: mmmm...so do it
Kyle: i
Kyle: not it
Kyle: i'm an i
Me: lol
Me: i know
Kyle: lol
Kyle: (i almost sent kik instead, because my fingers were too far to the right by one key)
Kyle: lol
Kyle: i'm a bit loopy
Kyle: latest dose of NyQuil is kicking in
Me: sure it's not cause we're chatting?
Kyle: a bit of both, i think
Kyle: honestly
Kyle: :-)
Kyle: i wish you were here
Kyle: now
Kyle: and that i could kiss you
Kyle: NOW
Me: i wish that too
Kyle: that makes me smile
Kyle: i'm smiling out loud
Kyle: haha
Me: lol
Me: i can't stop thinking about your kiss either
Kyle: i think about your kiss, too
Kyle: it was delicious
Me: it was soooo good
Kyle: mmmm
Kyle: i was bashful
Kyle: it was a shy kiss
Kyle: but i loved it
Kyle: i want more!
Me: me too and me too
Kyle: lol
Kyle: i think i'm going to slip back into bed and try for sleep
Kyle: i'm getting a bit drowsy
Kyle: and you intoxicate me even more!
Me: aww, you're just saying that to make me blush
Kyle: LOL
Kyle: you're onto me! i love making you blush...
Kyle: but it's the truth
Kyle: you intoxicate me
Me: good
Kyle: i can't wait to drink you in
Me: :-)
Kyle: sweet dreams tonight, honey!
Kyle: i know i'll have my share of them!
Kyle: XOXOXO
Me: hehe
Kyle: goodnight
Me: :-*
Me: night
Me: feel better
Kyle: :-*
Kyle: i'll look for you here tomorrow
Kyle: ciao
Kyle: ciao bella
Me: *Blush*
Kyle: ah! there it is! that lovely glow!

Blushing

Kyle: you have such a playful laugh
Kyle: and the way your hair falls into your eyes drives me WILD
Kyle: i love it
Kyle: you are such a beauty


Hehehe. He makes me blush so much when he does that.

I can't stop thinking about him though! And those kisses! My God! I get all excited and giddy when we talk online. I can't stop smiling!

This is awesome. Lol.

HNT #18