30 January 2007

Nerves

My nerves are getting to me now.

I feel like I'm gonna hurl at this point.

Just counting down the hours.

For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, you will soon.

Oy vey.


29 January 2007

New Phone!!




I just ordered my new phone and it'll hopefully be here by Friday and I'm sooooooo excited!!!
Yay fancy phone!!


Art Class Ruins Everything

I hate painting now.

I hated ceramics once I took ceramics class.

And now I hate painting now that I'm in painting class. There's too much pressure for me to paint something good. Or at least identifiable. And it's hard not reverting to abstract.

I'm supposed to be in class right now. But I came back to get a new canvas. Cause I was seriously gonna cry and melt down looking at that other one. That I fully intend to gesso over.

It's just frustrating to not be able to make what I want.

And now that I'm frustrated and in tears it's even harder to move forward.

I guess I'll go back to class now and figure something out.


28 January 2007

27 January 2007

Just Say "NO" to Link Clicking!

I shouldn't have clicked it. That link. The one I knew I didn't want to follow. I knew whatever was there was something I didn't want to read.

And I didn't click it at first. I finished the rest of the post, watched some TV, went upstairs, showered, and then I clicked the link.

"Oh, I already saw this blog," was my first thought. So there shouldn't be any surprises.

I start reading.

Huh.

Oh.

Oh!

Oh, well, ok then.

And just to prove how much of a masochist I am, and how much I hate myself, I went and finished the damn entry.

I think I'll go cry myself to sleep now.

I hate my life love life.

Though on a more positive, OMG, thank you LORD! kind of note- it looks like I may have a date this week.

Wait, wait, ok, no. Still crying.


26 January 2007

Ok, Maybe There Is a Worse Pain

So, I think a filling has either loosened or fallen completely out. Because anytime I eat something or rub my tongue along my tooth, I see stars.

God damn!

Good thing I'm going to the dentist next Friday (if I can make it that long!)

I just gotta keep remembering to chew on the left side of my mouth. And too stop obsessively tongueing the sore spot. Oh don't judge. You do it too!


25 January 2007

To Whom it May Concern:

Having a period fucking sucks. I would like to rip out my uterus right now.

Thank you.

Sincerely, Avah


Overheard at School

While waiting for the shuttle back to my dorm:

Guy #1: Hey! I've missed you!
Girl #1: I love you's and I miss you's are so oversaid these days, but they're still appreciated!
Guy #2 walking up: He don't love you. Men can't love. But they sure can fuck well!

Everyone pauses.

Guy #2: Oh my god, that totally came out wrong. I mean, it's what they do. Not that, oh my God, it's what guys do.


24 January 2007

Basofdaoi

Bah.

I need a boyfriend.

And I have zero desire to write.

dlkfjaoieae;fn(*&(^#@$%@*#&$)(@(*#&kdjfalkdfjajkfdaklj

Yeah, that's how I'm feeling right now.

Bah!

Hmpf!

Psh. Huh.


23 January 2007

Ugh So Tired

I'm like so tired it hurts. I really am just not made to wake up before 10am. Let alone 9am!

I had to get up at a quarter after 8 to get to babysit at 9am! Just too early!

And now I'm busy all day with class, fitting in eating, and then going to the gym.

Ugh!


21 January 2007

Beating the Clock

So, on quite the rare occasion, I have the apartment (or even just my bedroom) to myself. Tonight happened to be one of those rare nights. Everyone was either home or out, and being the bum loser I am, spent the Saturday night in.

Well, I was feeling quite horny and took the time to enjoy my alone time a bit.

But it wasn't enough. Because an hour later I was back at it again. Except this time I was trying to beat the clock since I figured my roommate would be back soon.

I was this freaking close when I heard the door downstairs open.

Mother fucker.

Though, as nice as it would have been to cum, it still wouldn't have helped all that much. What I really need is a dude and a dozen or so orgasms. Maybe throw in some ropes and whips too. That's the icing on the cake.

It's my newly discovered favorite thing- cumming so much my brain is basically fried. It's really kinda awesome. I swear I reach like Nirvana or something.

Sorry for the lack of stories. I'm kinda having a bit of writers block right now. I know what the things I want to write about are, but I'm not sure how to best put them into words at the moment. I'll try to get some tales to you when I can!

Cause trust me, there are some gooooood ones to tell...


19 January 2007

Aww! I want a penguin!


Ow! Pizza!

So last night I was eating some pizza when it basically accosted me!

First the sauce was really hot and burned the roof of my mouth!

And then when I was taking a bite, a string of cheese fell down and hit my chin and burned that too!

Not cool!

The roof of my mouth still hurts! :-(


18 January 2007

Love Letter

I don't get many of these. Just one every once in a while. But they just make my week when I do get one! Thanks!

Hi Avah, I just came across your blog and I must tell you that I have really enjoyed reading your entries. I read some of the old ones and they were quite a turn on. I enjoy your open and sensual attitude toward sex. Thanks a bunch. Jeff


Yay Painting!

So I just got back from my first painting class- and it was pretty cool. Well, we didn't do anything yet, but he just talked to us about things to get and what to expect from the class. The teacher seems really cool. Real easy going, jokes a lot.

And a bunch of my friends from my ceramics classes are in the class with me too! Yay! I did miss my ceramics friends.

Our first asignment is a landscape. I think for my referance I'm going to try and find something from The Americans in Paris book I got (from the exhibit at the Met). It should be here Friday, so I'll see if I can find something I like.

And, I actually think I'm going to try out oils. I'm not always getting the results I want from acrylics. Acrylics are flat, and sometimes that's good, other times I hate it. Adding gel medium helps beef the paint up of course. But I deffinately want to try oils. The teacher even said I can use both if I wanted.

I'm off to my drawing class in a few minutes, I hope the teacher is good here. And maybe more people I know are in that class too! That'd be awesome.

So far this looks like it's gonna be a good semester! Finally!


50 Q's

1. What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?
It's good for who it's good for.

2. Do you bite your toenails?
First of all, that's gross. Second of all, yeah, I can't get my feet up there anyways.

3. Were you a "planned" child?

Absolutely. My dad had to get his vasectomy reversed in fact!

4. What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
Anything that hides the taste of the alcohol (but should have top shelf stuff in it, lol)

5. What song lyric, if any, is stuck in your head at the moment?

“Cause our lips can touch, and our cheeks can brush”

6. What would you rather be doing right now?

Being naked in bed with Jefferson

7. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Umm, wow, this is hard. If I had to pick one, I'd say Chocolate Chip Cookie dough, but mint chocolate chip would probably be 2nd

8. If someone you had no interest in dating, expressed interest what would you do/say?

Sorry, I'm seeing someone.

9. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do?

HATE IT!!! Especially when it's my own fucking family!

10. What books, if any, have made you cry?
Snow in August, um...I dunno if any others did.

11. If you could have sex anywhere, where would it be?
On the subway, hehe Or in France

12. What did you dress up as for your first Halloween?

Dear God, like I know?

13. What's your favorite TV show, now or in the past?

Friends, Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, Will and Grace, Numbers...

14. Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?

Depends. I may get along better with guys.

15. Can others make you cry easily?

Not really. I’m usually a private crier.

16. Who was the last person to piss you off?

Roommates.

17. What's a personality characteristic that you have that most people don't see?

I’m really kind of obsessive.

18. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?

When I'm dieting. But I kinda already know the calorie content of everything.

19. Do you have a crush on anyone on My Space?

Um, well, I guess, she is on MySpace and all...but I know her in real life.

20. Are you a jealous person?

No, but I do get jealous.

21. What the kinkiest thing you've ever done?

Dude, I was at this party, and I ate this girl out, fucked her with a strap on, got tied up, she fisted me, this dude fucked me freaking hard, then I turned over and the girl whipped me, then my lover whipped me, then I got fucked some more, by who knows who, all with a butt plug up my ass, and then there was this other dude too who was eating me out sometimes.

Kinky enough? lol

22. What's the worst characteristic you could find in someone you were interested in dating?

I HATE LIARS!!

23. How many hours of sleep do you need to function?

Like 8.

24. What are you allergic to?
Nada.

25. When was the last time you slept on the floor?

Dude- not a floor person.

26. Have you ever been attracted to someone physically unattractive?

Kinda- they weren’t ugly per se, but after I stopped being “in love” with him, I realized he wasn’t as cute as I thought he was

27. What personality trait is a must-have in the opposite sex?
Confidence.

28. Do you enjoy traveling via airplanes?

Eh. It's good to be going somewhere different. If I ever got to fly 1st class maybe it wouldn't suck so much.

29.Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?

Probably not. A few is fine, but covered? No.

30. Have you ever dated someone out of your race?

No.

31. What do you consider sexy?

Intelligence, wit, good style, confidence

32. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?

I want to get my nose pierced and another tattoo.

33. Which do you make: wishes or plans?

Wishes

34. Can you speak any languages other than English?

No, unfortunately

35. What is your favorite salad dressing?

1,000 Island/Russian

36. What movies do you know every line to?

I used to really know Princess Bride

37. Have you ever dated one of your best friends?

no

38. Has anyone told you a secret this week?

This week? Um, not that I can think of.

39. When was the last time someone hit on you?

Um, I kinda thought the guy who sold me my gym membership was, but maybe he was just selling me my gym membership, lol. But other than that, probably when I was with Gia.

40. Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?

Both- I kinda wish I was in more pictures with my friends.

41. Do you regret having sex with anyone?

Yes. But I’ve raised my standards since then, so I guess that’s good.

43. How many siblings do you have, and where are you in the rank?

Youngest of a hodge-podge of 6 brothers and sisters

44. What's your ideal date?

Well, since you didn’t say first date, I’m gonna go as I was with someone for awhile. I think it’d be fun if we went into the city to some kind of fancy gallery opening and we’re dressed all fancy, maybe even black tie, sipping champagne and eating fancy finger food chit chatting about the realist movement (or whatever), then walking together to a nice restaurant and having a lovely meal together. Then going back home and having really awesome sex.

45. When was your last road trip?

I don’t really do road trips. Hate being in a car for too long.

46. Name 3 schools you went to:

Um, we’ll skip this one.

47. Name 3 things in your purse/backpack:

Wallet, lipsticks, reciepts

48. Three names you go by:

I really don’t think I have 3 different names.

49. Is anyone in the house with you?

Yeah, I’m at school and my roommates are here.

50. Who are you thinking about right now?

That I wish I was tired since I have early classes tomorrow.


17 January 2007

Amen

Wednesday One-Liners Get What's Coming to Them

Girl on cell: It was spanky-wanky like I've never seen.

--72nd St & Columbus Ave

Overheard by: Scarfish

Brunette on cell: It doesn't sound that bad... Get a hold of yourself, it's only a little torture.

--Waverly & University

Punk hootchie #1: I mean, why shouldn't we feel pain when we want to?
Punk hootchie #2: [Shrugs.]
Punk hootchie #1: I mean, my mom's on ecstasy all the time, so why shouldn't she try out bondage?

--Manhattan-bound 7 train

Loud chick: Objectify me!

--116th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Mixmaster Mike

Chick on cell: He likes to go slow and gentle, which is okay, but sometimes I wish he'd just pull my hair and spank me a little.

--11th & Broadway


via Overheard in New York, Jan 17, 2007


Ok, I Laughed So Hard There Were Tears

Toddler quivering with fright: Oh, no, Mommy. Oh, no. Oh, dear... Oh, dear... Oh, dear. The train's coming, Mommy. It's coming. Oh, dear. Oh, no. Oh, no no no no no no! Mommy! It's coming, Mommy! Oh, no, Mommy! Mommy! It's coming. It's coming! It's coming, it's coming! Ahhh!


Overheard in New York


15 January 2007

Just a Bad Day

I just got a call from my study abroad program people telling me they've discontinued the art program in Aix-en-Provence that I signed up for.

Great.

That was the only art program in France they had.

Now I gotta look again- at different agencies to find some suitible exchange.

This sucks.


Last Chance!

If you haven't done it yet, you still have time to submit nominations for the Sex Blogger awards!!

Granted I hope you guys will nominate me, but if you have another favorite then go ahead and nominate them!

But get your nominations in!

Nominations close at midnight tonight!!

Vamos!



*Smile*

Evil Smile.

I just moved the desk back. And claimed the space with more than just my hamper.

If she touches my stuff and moves the desk back, I'm going to a) report it to the R.A. and b) move the desk back. Repeating as needed.

Not to sound all cliché, but if the bitch is gonna play with fire, she's gonna get burned.

Wow, this is really a side of me you guys haven't seen! Well, I'm sure you'll enjoy it. Everyone loves other people's drama. I know I do.


Day 1: It Starts Again (Rant Warning)

I'm gonna go kill myself now. Yep. Or my roommates. Preferably them.

They just got back today and it's already started.

Over break I moved one of my roommate's desk over, oh about 12 inches and as soon as she got back she immediately moved it back. "It's blocking the air conditioner." Um, hi, it's January, and finally cold. Not to mention the fact the air still blows out through the desk! There's a hole bitch! But not quite as big as the one in your head!!

And the psycho picky bitch has already started. She left a note saying to clean up from after break, the showers, toilet, etc. She already did the floor. Yeah, so did Noelle. Like last week. And, um, the shower isn't dirty. Bitch. And I like mess. She's gonna have to get used to clutter again.

Hey- here's a thought- maybe if you weren't such a bitch, maybe I wouldn't be so messy just spite you.

Oh, and also, we have a sheet for taking out the garbage and we just cross our name off when we do, and it just rotates, and she took down the old one, which Noelle and I had accumulated many crossed off names, so we wouldn't have to take the garbage out for awhile, but uh, Bitch decided, "New Semester, New List."

Well, the silver lining is that whenever they piss me off, I'm gonna have to head to the gym or else I'll end up shoving my foot up their asses. Like today. With this dreary weather I was thinking of maybe skipping today. Then the fat fuck (who sits on her ass all day in the room) fucking pissed me off and I couldn't have gotten to the gym faster. I'm gonna get in shape real fast!

And oh man I really didn't want to come back.

Except I did. To the Bitch's shit.

Fucking A man. I'm really ready to just jump off a bridge right now. Anything to get me away from those mother fuckers!!

Rant over. (for now)


This Sounds Awesome and I Wanna Do It, Like, Now!

I was reading this article on female ejaculation here and there were tips on how to try and get a woman to squirt. Well, even if it doesn't work the way intended, it sounds a totally awesome experience anyways!

I've copied and pasted, but bulleted it to make it easier to read...

What you do is this:

1)you start with stimulating the G-spot (which to some women is even more exciting than stimulating the clitoris) with your fingers and slowly and tenderly work your way to the point where you can slip your hand into the vagina (wear latex gloves at all times, not only to protect yourself but also to protect the tender inner vaginal tissue, and use lots and lots of lubricant).

2)Once you're in, stimulate and stimulate and stimulate (literally pump up the volume) until you feel the vaginal muscles contracting around your wrist (the first sign of an orgasm coming up). That is the signal to change position. Leave four fingers in the vagina and lay your thumb over the clitoris. Now simply squeeze the G-spot from behind and - like you were pressing an orange or a lemon - you'll squeeze out the liquid.

3)Whatever you do now: DON'T STOP! The orgasm will not only be very, very, very intense, it will also revolve. Let it come and come and come again until your partner asks you to stop. This revolving orgasm may very well last for ten to fifteen minutes. Squeeze out the liquid, ease up a little and when the next wave comes up, squeeze again. There is more to come.


13 January 2007

Contract

I've just signed the next 2 years of my life away.

I just joined Bally Gym. They own me for the next 24 months.

And God damn I will NOT be one of those people who pays $50/month for a gym membership they don't use!

I've got my goals set, and they're smart and reasonable:

Be running 5 miles by my birthday (that would be increasing a mile every 2 weeks which is totally doable)

Be 145 by June 15th- that's a very reasonable amount of weight loss per month (which I won't get into since people can do math, lol) and even allows for any plateaus or if I have a bad week or something.

And now I have my gym membership. With scheduled times already in my calender.

Seems safe to say I'm all set.

And for all you that think I'm sexy now, just you wait and see come June!


Post Secret

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


12 January 2007

Watch and Learn

To tell this story, I need to give a bit of history...

I was in the middle of watching the Yankee play off series (year 2004, vs. Boston) when I got this random IM: Yankees suck.

'Scuse you?

Aparently it was someone I had spoken with before, from Alt.com. I'm still not sure to this day if that was really true.

But this man, Rick, some how...charmed (and I used that metaphorically) me into meeting him. He filled my head with promises of fulfilling my sexual fantasies- S/M, threesomes, girls, etc. And he'd throw in some gifts here and there as well.

I remember when we first met, I was nervous. I actually never got a good picture of him, so I didn't quite know what to expect. We met at a diner, and I got there first, and sat waiting. He came in and sat in the booth across from me, and all I could think was, "He's so not my type."

He was old (mid-thirty's), basically bald, with a big ol' pot belly. (And really hairy, as I learn later) (Let's remember I was 18, just starting college, and had only 2 lovers at that point in my life.)

Well, somehow, here it is 2 years later and we still speak. Because I still use him to get things I want. (It's not my proudest relationship)

The latest- fucking girls. It's only happened once because I'm not doing it again until I can figure out how to get out of fucking him as well. Just the girl, thanks.

I drove up the NY Throughway one Friday night this fall, armed with my whips and strap-on. I was gonna get some pussy!

But I had to get through fucking him first. I did my best as he did his...thing. But I really wasn't even close to getting into it. And he could tell.

"Is it because of Jefferson?"
"If you're asking me if I feel guilty, than no."

But if you're asking if I wish your hairy, sweaty body wasn't on top of me, than yes.

The girl was a little late as she got lost, but finally arrived and I got my chance to have fun with her.

Rick met her at the door and blindfolded her before bringing her into the room. I was prepped with the video camera he handed me. I filmed them as he brought her in, teasing her, kissing her, and having her suck his cock. I set it aside when he called me over to have my fun with her.

Her top had already been removed and I pinched her nipples as I kissed her.

We stripped her and got her on the bed. It was time for her to taste her first pussy.

For a first timer, I must say it wasn't too bad.

She did manage to make my clit ring fall out. And that damn bugger is hard to put back together!

Rick fucked her as I sat by the light trying to put the ball back into the post. I eventually had to get Rick to help. Once that was taken care of, it was my time to fuck her.

I straped myself in as Rick strapped the girl's arms into the restraints he had set up. I knelt between her legs, pushing them up and out wider. She moaned loudly as the length of me filled her and started fucking her gently.

I pumped my hips faster and watched as her breats bounced and cheeks flushed.

I leaned down, taking skin between her teeth, reveling in her grunts and squeals. Rick stood on the side watching and taking pictures.

I fucked her harder and smiled as I watched her cum. We flipped her around and she sucked Rick's cock as I fucked her from behind.

My hands held firmly on her hips as I pumped my cock in and out of her. She moaned and yelped as my hands struck her ass, quickly reddening it. I was warming it up to do more damage when I was done fucking her.

I fucked her as hard as I could until she came again.

I pulled out, wiping my brow, and grabbed my whips. I threw them on the bed next to her as I warmed her up a little more with my hands. When it was nice and rosy, I picked up my first (and favorite) flogger.

"Watch and learn," I told Rick. He clearly had no or very little experience with a flogger based on his feeble attempt on me earlier that evening.

Considering I'm still basically an amateur, I do a pretty decent job.

So, I did my stuff. She moaned and yelped as I worked the leather over her ass and back.

I switched to my cat after a bit and enjoyed her groans as the knotted ends bit her skin.

I tried Rick's paddle next (what he favors), but didn't get how to swing it right, and wasn't interested in trying. I went back to my trusty flogger and beat her until just before she'd call mercy.

That pretty much wrapped up the night. He and I dressed and headed out, leaving the girl as she was spending the night (at the hotel).

He filled up my tank (because I don't drive 2 hours on my own dime) and we parted ways.


11 January 2007

How Romantic

Jefferson and I spent the morning together, being all lazy in bed, napping and cuddling in between making love.

It was a bleak, fall day- cloudy skies and the threat of rain. Staying in bed is just the thing to do on those kinds of days.

It was a kids day for Jefferson and I joined him on his walk through the park as I needed to see the Vollard exhibit at the Met for class.

And despite the weather, I rather enjoyed our walk together. It was my first time really seeing so much of the park, and seeing all the well known areas: the Bethesda fountain, the Boat House, and other places I don't know the names of.

"This is nice," I said to Jefferson.
"You must be thinking it's pretty romantic, walking through the park together," he chided me.
"Actually, I wasn't..."
"You mean you were just enjoying nature?"
"Uh huh, but it's nice to know how you feel," I said leaning in to kiss him.

The rain held off until we reached the edges of the park. Ever the gentleman, Jefferson escorted me with the umbrella up the stairs of the Met to the door, kissing me sweetly goodbye.


HNT #14




10 January 2007

Agh!

Let's talk about how much my body hurts.

Well, I'm starting my running again. It's gonna be a long, hard road getting back into shape. But, aside from that, not a good idea to start running the day of an orgy.

And speaking of orgy, OMG my vagina has been ripped to shreds. I really think it's in danger of falling off. Or out, whatever.

The amount of damage those boys did to me...well, let's just say it's gonna make one hell of a story.

And I gotta tell you about this thing one guy did with his fingers. He found this spot, that's like above the g-spot, right below the cervix, and when he presses on it, all you think is "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod I wanna die." But it's a good feeling. Callie knows too. Maybe she can describe it better.

But yeah, my body aches.

And I'm hungry. So yeah, that's it for now.


09 January 2007

Crisis Averted

Thank you Noggin.

Ok, now, is it nuts if I like the Upside Down show?

Anyone see it, know it? It's good, right? Lol

Oh I can't wait to go back to bed...


Grrr....

I hate 3 year olds.

Especially 3 year olds that won't stop screaming and crying. Because they don't get their way.

OMG. I have to wake up at the butt crack of dawn (That's 9AM) to deal with this whiny, spoiled brat. Mother fucker.

And I just learned the mom is pregnant. I'm not sure what that's gonna mean. I like babies though. They can't talk back and order you around. When they cry is just cause it's the only way they can communicate. But a 3 year old?

I'm not even in the same room as him and he continues to have his tantrum.

All because I didn't make his yogurt right (which is how it started) and because I wouldn't hand him his stuffed animal that was right behind him (which is why it continued).

Maybe he'll shut the fuck up if I put the TV on...

God, this is totally an "other people's children" kinda thing.


08 January 2007

I'll Take a Double

So, I went and saw the Dr. today, and he decided to double my Wellbutrin. We'll see how that goes.

I think I'd rather a double of vodka.

Of course with me being bi-polar, we have to be careful about the antidepressant sending me into a manic phase. Except that I would welcome that with open arms and a plate full of fresh baked cookies.

Maybe I'll get that extra kick of horniness, too.

So we'll see how it goes...


07 January 2007

Up, Down, Turn around

So I'm watching this Intervention show on A&E and there's this cutter on it and her story is just reminding me how crazy and crappy I'm feeling.

My mood has been cycling faster than your head can spin. One minute I'm happy, joking, hopeful and enthusiastic about everything, and then an hour later I'm crying, crabby, depressed and suicidal.

I watched this show on TLC about how doctors cut out part of this kids brains to help him stop having seizures. I wish there was a part of my brain that could be cut out to make me stop feeling like crap for no reason.

I'm not sure which is worse- being stuck in a depression or cycling this rapidly.

Feeling like this and watching that girl cutting herself makes me miss it. I haven't done it since those 2 times in September. But I also remember how crazy and out of control I felt being a slave to that addiction. I'm 20, going on 21, and I shouldn't be dealing with my pain like that anymore.

I don't deal with it with my eating anymore either. God, I miss that 1,000 times more. Having that sense of control. And being that thin. I don't know which was better.

Oddly enough though, I don't really control whether or not my eating is nuts. It kinda just happens. I thought it might come back when I lost my job. That's been a past result after disappointments.

And to my disappointment, it wasn't a result this time.

I was on a total high last weekend when my work told me they were going to keep me permanently. But I crashed New Year's Eve.

I didn't have any plans, which I was kinda, sorta bummed about, but wasn't stressing too much. And then New Year's Eve day, at work, Gia (the girl crush) invited me to a party she was going too. I passed it up since I wasn't going to know anyone. But it's a good thing because how far my mood plummeted.

I was in a great mood at work. I was bored, but in a good mood. I felt myself sink just even as I walked through the parking lot to my car. I went to go take a nap, hoping I'd feel better when I woke up.

No such luck. Maybe it was because I was rudely awoken by one of my nasty, dumb roommates I hate.

I spent a good part of the night curled up in my bed and sobbing because how overwhelmed I was with thoughts of dying.

The idea of doing another year of feeling like this seemed unbearable.

And not just another year. Another 50 years.

The medicine hasn't been working either. It wasn't even making me hornier.

So, I dunno. I just keep banging my head against the wall.

And the bad mood has since passed since I started writing this entry. Of course.

I guess it's time for bed now.


Better Late than Never

I'm feeling like I want to make New Year's resolutions. There's shit I'd like to do in 2007.

So, hopefully, if all goes well, I can do some of these things:

1. Have sex with more women
2. Get my nose pierced
3. Get a 3rd tattoo?
4. Get tied up (and not hands behind my back tied up, but tied up, tied up)
5. Be dommed by a woman
6. Have some fun sex in France!
7. Be a better painter
8. Reduce my debt
9. Start exercising again and get back to running 5 miles
10. Get back to my high school weight


06 January 2007

D'oh!

Am I just a fucking idiot, or is cooking rice really that hard?!

I've never successfully cooked rice that wasn't in a bag or in a rice cooker.

Including tonight.

Freaking A, man!


Bloggies!

Nominations are taking place right now for the 2007 Bloggies- it's the 7th Annual Weblog Awards.

Here you can nominate all your favorite blogs (and not just sex blogs, like for DirtySpoke)!

Show the love for your favorite bloggers (including yours truly if the case so happens to be) and just fill in the ballot!

There are a lot of different catagories, but you don't have to fill in them all. And you can nominate more than one blog per catagory, which rocks.

So GO! Have fun!


Woohoo!!

Jane's Guide reviewed me! And it was a great review at that!

You can read the whole review here but here's just a line Vamp wrote that really just made my day: I don't know what it was about Avah's tone, but she is just very endearing. I found myself smiling a lot while reading of her adventures.

So a big welcome to all you new visitors (and let me tell you there have been a lot today!) and I really hope you'll keep coming back! (And don't be too shy to say hello either!)


Invisible

He watched us from the corner, his eyes wandering over our bodies, following our movement; his hand stroking his dick.

Jefferson glanced over at him every once in awhile. I just ignored him. He was invisible to me.

I was focused on my lover.

My hand stroked his cheek as his hands held firmly on my hips while he thrusted into me.

My moans got louder as Jefferson's cock kept rubbing against my g-spot.

I was getting ready to come again. Muscles tensed and my toes curled in anticipation.

Jefferson rubbed my clit with his thumb, quickly bringing me over the edge. I cried out as I came. He kept fucking me hard and playing with my clit.

I shuddered and whimpered as I kept coming. Over and over they rolled into each other.

I pushed Jefferson away when I couldn't take anymore.

"Well that was a good one, huh?" he said, wiping his brow.
I nodded slowly. Spent.
"Looks like our guest enjoyed it too."

Oh yeah. Him.

He cleaned up with some tissues and was escorted out by Jefferson.

Jefferson climbed back into bed with me, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

"I love you."
"I love you too, sweetheart."


05 January 2007

Score!

The dry spell is over.

Hallelujah.


04 January 2007

New Painting

One of my latest paintings-- first in a while as I took a little break while I was working...

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Hate Me (#300!!)

"Fuck me like you hate me," I told Jefferson before our date that Friday.

I was getting bored with all the niceness and wanted, no, needed him to be rougher. I needed my hair pulled and my breasts bitten. I needed to feel his strong hands pinning my wrists back and controlling my breath. I needed to be fucked senseless.

I leaned in to kiss him as we sat talking on the couch. I moved myself closer, kissing him deeper. In no time I was ready to get naked. Standing up, I held out my hand to take his and pulled him into the bedroom. As Jefferson and I stood in front of the bed, my body leaned in close to his as our tongues danced and our hands explored each other's bodies.

He pushed me on the bed and climbed on top of me, holding my face in his hands as our lips reconnected.

I tugged at his t-shirt, pulling it over his head. He followed pulling my pants off and throwing them on the floor.

"I wore pretty underwear today," I pointed out baring my pink polka-dotted panties.
"Yes you did," he said pulling them off.

I tugged at his pants and he dropped them to the floor. My legs wrapped around his waist pulling him closer to me and my hands roamed over his smooth skin as he pushed up my shirt and bra to get at my breasts. I sighed happily as he took a nipple in his mouth. Whimpers escaped my lips as he started to bite down. His hands held mine above my head as he continued to leave marks on my breasts.

He released my skin from his teeth and finished taking off my shirt, throwing it on the floor behind him.

Jefferson walked around to the other side of the bed, grabbing a condom, and climbed on. He pulled me underneath him and spread my legs, kneeling between them. I groaned as he pushed into me and started fucking me. His hands rested on either side of my head, pinning my arms up. My eyes closed, my body giving in to the warmth running through it.

I moaned loudly as Jefferson fucked me hard, grabbing my hair and kissing me deep.

He squeezed my breasts tightly, twisting and pulling on them as he trusted into me. I winced and squirmed underneath him but my pussy only got wetter in response. He loosened his grip and my chest heaved as my body recovered from the pain. Our eyes locked and I smiled up at him, lifting my head to give him a kiss, but he held back, smirking at me. I tried to sit up further, but he just held me down.

"Aw you suck!"

He laughed and finally leaned in to meet my kiss.

As Jefferson continued to fuck me roughly, I felt my body nearing orgasm. Jefferson sensed it as well and started fucking me even harder and pressing his hand against my throat. My body tensed and I let out a strained cry as I came hard around Jefferson's cock.

He pulled out as I caught my breath and laid down next to me. I turned and cuddled into him, sighing and smiling contentedly.


Holy Shit!

It's going to be 64 degrees on Saturday??? Is this not January??

Christ already- I wanna go skiing!!

Mountain Creek hasn't even been able to make a damn base because it's been so freaking warm.

Totally not cool man. I don't like my skiis collecting all that dust.

And now that I'm fucking out of a job and school hasn't started yet, I have oodles of time to go skiing.

But I can't when it's 64 degrees!

Bah! Mother fucking global warming.


02 January 2007

OMG Major Girl Crush!

So, remember how I was dishing about all the crushes I had on people at work?

And I mentioned this one girl, where it was more of a friend crush. Yeah, it's not just a "friend" crush anymore. I have the full on hots for her and OMG we flirt like crazy too. It's insane.

So I went to her house last night after work to have dinner with her family that was over to celebrate New Year's (and, oddly enough, it just so happens that one of her cousins is an old counselor of mine from when I was in high school!! That was sooo weird...).

I ended up staying the night because we were up so late talking and also my bitchy roommate was here at school with some random dude and I didn't really wanna return to that.

So I crashed with her. In her bed. :-D And we snuggled all night! I was so in heaven.

But there were 1,000 times I would have loved to just kiss her. Like our faces would be like an inch apart sometimes, and I had to really hold back from just closing that gap.

And she has such a hot body with such nice tits. Yum. And she's got this Snow White complexion with pale skin and naturally black hair.

I think if she didn't have a boyfriend, I might have actually been daring and kissed her. I mean we were flirting back and forth all night! And she was kinda hitting on me a lot too- I loved it! Lol. She was all, "I kinda like chubby girls..." and "So, lemme see your tattoos, Avah..."

Gah. I dunno how long I'm gonna be able to resist the temptation.

Hopefully she'll give in first ;-)

Now excuse me while I go masturbate to lesbian sex fantisies with her...