We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Programming...

...for this important publication.

Please pardon the interruptus non grata.

File this under the "random musings" category. And don't say I didn't warn ya...

I was talking with a friend the other day about blogs. She follows a bunch of the blogs: mine, Jefferson's, Lexi's, et al. She doesn't really get why we write sex blogs. She gets that Jefferson's a slut, but doesn't understand why he has to be so public about it. "It just seems silly, that's all."

Now she doesn't mean to offend.

I can't really speak for Jefferson on why he chose and continues to write about his sexual fares. But I would surmise that after living in a hetero-monogamous marriage to a seemingly cold and icy woman, it's only natural to want to act on one's hedonistic desires, and Jefferson being a writer, it's only natural to write about it. I also think, from reading his archives, it may have been somewhat of a therapeutic release in the beginning. But once he got an audience...well, who's an artist to disappoint his fans?

Though from my own experiences, I offered this explanation:

I've been blogging since blogging first started becoming popular. Actually, before it was even called blogging. They were just online diaries back then. It started when I was a freshman in high school. My friends and I all had livejournal, then we moved to open diary, then xanga. And now, blogger.

I had always kept a diary, maybe it's a girl thing, so moving it online didn't seem too odd. Granted I still kept the more private stuff in my book journal, I still put a lot out there for people to see. I used it as an outlet to just write about life but to also communicate with my friends. It was a way for me to say things I couldn't necessarily say in person.

Though today it's different for me. Admittedly, the first entry was written for Jefferson as I put into words everything that went through my head an body the first time I saw him, because it was so unique and intense for me. But then I got hooked on writing the stories. And having an audience.

The exhibitionist in me had been born.

But there's a freedom, and a protection to writing anonymously (not like when I was in high school). Save for the small handful of lovers who read this, the rest of my readers don't know me. So I can kinda say whatever the fuck I want.

Because what do I care if Joe Schmo or Anonymous has an issue that I eat latkes on Passover? (Mine don't contain flour as it so happens anyways, not that I keep kosher.)

Not to mention of course no one really says anything (except if you're talking about latkes...) Out of the hundreds of visitors I get a day, I don't even average 1 comment a day- shame on all of you lurkers! And extra love to the wonderful people who do comment!

In Designing Intimacy I get to be Avah- smart, sexy, alluring, confident, daring. When I'm Avah, talking to boys doesn't make me blush (oh who are we kidding? Being naked in front of boys doesn't make me blush!) I use bigger words when I talk and write, and I use them correctly (going against my actual genetic nature!) Not that the real me isn't smart, sexy, alluring, confident, and daring. But I get to showcase those things here. I don't dwell on my money woes or family issues or insecurities. Of course, since that's not what the blog is about.

And I try not to bring those issues here. As I try not to bring it with me when I'm with Jefferson. When I walk into his apartment, the real world is shut out. It's just Avah and Jefferson (and any additional company.) Because, really, what goes on is too outrageous to be real.

Avah is purely a figment of my imagination. And Designing Intimacy is simply a place where she tells the sordid tales of her made up sex life while trying to find the deeper meaning behind penises and vaginas. I don't know what lies ahead for Avah. It's really too early to tell. But I hope she finds that deeper meaning, that intimacy. And with the search for it, I hope her fear of it is conquered because I worry she's going to miss it if she's hiding from it.

I urge you, my readers, to please comment on this. Whether it's feedback or a springboard for something it made you think of. I want to hear from you! I'd also like to hear from my lovers... Don't be shy people!


This now concludes tonight's special programing. We bring you back to our story, already in progress...