Kids Really Do Say the Darndest Things

Now that I'm back at school, I'm back to babysitting Jason.

I babysat him once a week all school year last year and now I'm back to it.

He just turned 3 this August.

This is that special time where they're just finishing their potty training. No more diapers!!

So, we're outside today and he's playing on the swing set while I'm laying in the grass pretending to comprehend some Emerson I'm reading for class.

He yells out to me, "I have to go pee-pee!"
"Ok, let's go inside."
"No!! I want to go there!" he says pointing to some trees by the fence.
"No, you can't go outside, we go inside."
"I don't want to go inside!!! I want to pee on the branch!! No inside, no inside!!!"
"Jason, you can't pee outside," I said getting up and walking to him.
"Yes!!" he says pulling down his pants.
"Jason!"

He proceeds to let loose and cover the rock in front of him.

"Jason..." I sighed.
"Help me! I can't do it!" he said trying to pull his underwear up.
"You can pull them up. You pulled them down, so you pull them up!"
"I can't!"
"Yes you can, you almost got it."
"I can't! My penis is hanging out!" he said, starting to cry.
"Ok, ok. Let's just get you inside," I said pulling his pants up.
"I wanna watch TV."
"Ok, we'll watch some TV."

You just can't make this stuff up.