09 November 2006

Going Crazy

Oh my fucking God. I feel like I'm freaking going crazy!

Like losing my mind gone!!

My roommates are pissing me off so easily and I'm getting beyond normally furious over stupid little things.

Like tonight. I'm super tired and forcing myself to stay awake until like midnight so I can hopefully get back on a normal sleeping schedule, so I'm more cranky. But I watch Grey's Anatomy every time. And unfortunately they switched it to Thursdays. (I now have nothing to watch at 10PM on Sundays). And Noelle wanted to watch the OC and can't watch it in her room since her roommate tapes Greys Anatomy since she's in class. I really didn't want to watch Greys in my room since I can't see the TV from my bed and didn't wanna just be sitting uncomfortably in my hard desk chair. And especially since I was in the middle of starting a new painting. And then Noelle was saying how this OC thing was gonna become a Thursday night thing. No, no friend. She and Leslie (my other roommate who was downstairs watching) haven't watched it like at all, and now they're gonna start? The two of them can watch it in mine and Leslie's room! Shit!

But I was extremely cranky so overreacted and ended up just leaving. And I went to go pick up my Wellbutrin (that ended up not being called in, damn Dr.)

When I came back, everyone was gone.

But I was still pissed.

I had to purge because I was so mad and agitated it was all I knew how to make it go away (better than cutting- no scars).

I might just have to start going home more often for now. Which sucks now that I'm finally starting work and it's a dumb ass commute. But I can't take living with people right now. I just want to be by myself like 80% of the time and I'm really only by myself like 20% of the time. Gotta switch that around.

Yeah, I'll probably just go home more now. That way I can paint and draw in peace, watch the TV shows I wanna, not have to smell a yucky hampster all the time and not have to deal with sleeping on a bunk bed in a triple.

(When you're depressed, even the little things in life are magnified to total suckification, just so you don't think I'm being ridiculous).

And now all my roommates are out, and it's awesome. The whole place to myself, at least for a little while, and I love it!!

God, I still would like a freaking Xanax or something.


2 comments:

swordfish155 said...

those with sufficient foresight and memory will remember that grey's was replayed last week on friday at 8, and will be relayed again today at 8.

Elexus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.